Come out tonight in support of Alexis! Now that I'm home, I'd love to see you all there!
Join JUMP and BAC for our third annual art show, Revelations.
Showcasing the work of young artists in the community, Revelations will be a night of collaborative art, music, spoken word, and visual experiences.
All proceeds for the event will be donated to UJA in direct support of Alexis Wronzberg's fight with cancer.
Jump
1992 Yonge Street (just north of davisville station)
Toronto, ON
Thursday, November 25, 2010
being away
It’s been less than a week away from my precious ladies—Alexis and Debbie. And though I abide by the mantra of all “good things” must come to an end, it seems that all the good things were starting after I left (that’s not to say that we didn’t have a good time, but the reality was that we were spending most our time in a hospital)—and even though I’d love to still be in Israel to share in Alexis’ new found freedom of breaking through the hospital doors, I am comforted that she is happier—out of the boxed room she was living in for over a month. Free from nurses, doctors and what seemed to be zookeepers—constantly getting checked up on, fed and stared at—Alexis, though not completely free from the C word, is finally getting a breath of fresh air. I spoke to her the other day—she had a lilt in her voice and her energy was strong.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
confidence to go
I'm leaving in a couple of hours--back to Toronto, away from Alexis
and away from Debbie. Joining all the others back home who can't be
with Alexis all the time. Back to Toronto to start a new routine--
waiting to hear how the day went and what the doctors had to say
rather than be there to hear it first hand. But one thing I have, and
one thing ill bring back which gives me a little bit of ease is that I
got to be here and see Alexis day after day. And day after day she got
care and love and will continue to receive that. These doctors are
past the doctor - patient relationship--they've joined us in the
bleachers section. They know they have to get her better.
She is in good hands and I can leave in confidence.
and away from Debbie. Joining all the others back home who can't be
with Alexis all the time. Back to Toronto to start a new routine--
waiting to hear how the day went and what the doctors had to say
rather than be there to hear it first hand. But one thing I have, and
one thing ill bring back which gives me a little bit of ease is that I
got to be here and see Alexis day after day. And day after day she got
care and love and will continue to receive that. These doctors are
past the doctor - patient relationship--they've joined us in the
bleachers section. They know they have to get her better.
She is in good hands and I can leave in confidence.
About Debbie
Its been Alexis, Debbie and I for about 5 weeks now. The 3 of us have
created our own little family--even though we are already blood
related. But anyway, I want to talk about Debbie--and ill try not to
trip over my words.
If you've ever seen a tree before. With its complex dimensions--first
the roots, the sturdy trunk and then the flowing colourful
branches--always providing and giving. That's her. And if plants grew
on Debbie's tree, they'd be sabras--the fruit most Israelis get pinned
for. A little prickly on the outside but soft, bright and delicious on
the inside.
Debbie and I have become an incredible team. Working well and
eloquently together. Just last night while I was laying out the
freshly wet clean dishes, stretching around Debbie in ballet form; she
was on her tip toes in another ballet position reaching over me as she
placed the dishes neatly in the cupboard above. We've got our shit down to a
dance.
We are similar and different in a lot of different ways. But the
differences only make us respect one another more.
Nights after spending the day in the hospital, the two of us would
find solace in painting, sipping delicious wine and talking. Recapping
the days.
I've spent a lot of time listening to Debbie's thoughts, dreams, wishes
and concerns and I'm so deeply humbled that she's shared them with me.
I see how she is with Alexis- strong and honest--literally an advocate
for her baby. Piping up with questions for the doctor eager to be
comforted by their response.
She's a fighter, a non defeatist and confident. Especially confident
with her decision of bring Alexis to Israel-- I think we all owe
Debbie our gratitude--especially me.
created our own little family--even though we are already blood
related. But anyway, I want to talk about Debbie--and ill try not to
trip over my words.
If you've ever seen a tree before. With its complex dimensions--first
the roots, the sturdy trunk and then the flowing colourful
branches--always providing and giving. That's her. And if plants grew
on Debbie's tree, they'd be sabras--the fruit most Israelis get pinned
for. A little prickly on the outside but soft, bright and delicious on
the inside.
Debbie and I have become an incredible team. Working well and
eloquently together. Just last night while I was laying out the
freshly wet clean dishes, stretching around Debbie in ballet form; she
was on her tip toes in another ballet position reaching over me as she
placed the dishes neatly in the cupboard above. We've got our shit down to a
dance.
We are similar and different in a lot of different ways. But the
differences only make us respect one another more.
Nights after spending the day in the hospital, the two of us would
find solace in painting, sipping delicious wine and talking. Recapping
the days.
I've spent a lot of time listening to Debbie's thoughts, dreams, wishes
and concerns and I'm so deeply humbled that she's shared them with me.
I see how she is with Alexis- strong and honest--literally an advocate
for her baby. Piping up with questions for the doctor eager to be
comforted by their response.
She's a fighter, a non defeatist and confident. Especially confident
with her decision of bring Alexis to Israel-- I think we all owe
Debbie our gratitude--especially me.
a few wishes to send me home in peace
(written on November, 18, 2010).
I am leaving Israel in a couple days. The thought of it makes me crazy. I've been here now for 3.5 months and I've had an experience that I would never pass up for anything. Ever. The only thing that could make it better was if a few of my wishes would come true.
I wished, that before I left, 4 of my wishes would come true.
To put it simply, I wanted
1) To see Alexis in the apartment
2) That Alexis' body would start reacting positively to the treatment
3) That we would have shabbat dinner under the stars (with Alexis)
4) That I would be able to paint a little bit more before I had to leave
ALL FOUR CAME TRUE--I could finally go and walk away with peace in my mind and in my heart!
I am leaving Israel in a couple days. The thought of it makes me crazy. I've been here now for 3.5 months and I've had an experience that I would never pass up for anything. Ever. The only thing that could make it better was if a few of my wishes would come true.
I wished, that before I left, 4 of my wishes would come true.
To put it simply, I wanted
1) To see Alexis in the apartment
2) That Alexis' body would start reacting positively to the treatment
3) That we would have shabbat dinner under the stars (with Alexis)
4) That I would be able to paint a little bit more before I had to leave
ALL FOUR CAME TRUE--I could finally go and walk away with peace in my mind and in my heart!
can't hear past the crunching
It was Wednesday of last week. I had gone to the beach to catch a few last minute rays. I also tried to finish a book I had borrowed from the hospital.
At around 3pm I was getting antsy--I brushed off the sand from my sun kissed body and made a mad dash for the apartment.
I had my key in hand, but, surprised and nervous, the door was left open. I couldn't figure it out. Why was the door left open? Was someone robbing the place? Did I leave it unlocked? Omg! Debbie was going to be so angry. But, it wasn't any of that, and Debbie certainly wasn't going to be angry.
I opened the door and...ALEXIS was sitting INSIDE!
I stood. Staring. Tears brewing in my eyes. Remnants of sand stinging between my toes. I knew I needed to take a shower, but I just looked at her, she at me, staring, smiling and tears full of joy. Lex got a day pass and I got a surprise. The best of it's kind. Lex was slowly making her way home.
To celebrate, we made a yummy meal--well, Debbie made a delicious chicken stew and I made a bowl of vegetables...:)
We also took a load off on the balcony off Alexis' room--the two of us sat there, talking and engaged in fun activity. We invited Debbie down. A couple minutes later we were all hungry and took a trip to the AM:PM downstairs.
The image of seeing Alexis in the AM:PM is something I will never forget. She was free. She could pick whatever she wanted and no one was stopping her. Our little mission down to the store brought back memories of the days, the honey moon period, before she had the transplant. The days were we would wander and stroll the streets, stop in at candy shops or sit for a delicious salad. I was feeling very positive--everyone was.
We went upstairs--threw everything we bought into bowls, including the likes of Carriot cereal (the chocolate filled puffs), cinamon toast crunch, peanuts and zatar crackers. We all tried to watch Ellen but none of us could hear past the crunching. It was so loud! And no one cared! We were just happy! The 3 of us sitting on the couch, eating, smiling and crunching!
At around 3pm I was getting antsy--I brushed off the sand from my sun kissed body and made a mad dash for the apartment.
I had my key in hand, but, surprised and nervous, the door was left open. I couldn't figure it out. Why was the door left open? Was someone robbing the place? Did I leave it unlocked? Omg! Debbie was going to be so angry. But, it wasn't any of that, and Debbie certainly wasn't going to be angry.
I opened the door and...ALEXIS was sitting INSIDE!
I stood. Staring. Tears brewing in my eyes. Remnants of sand stinging between my toes. I knew I needed to take a shower, but I just looked at her, she at me, staring, smiling and tears full of joy. Lex got a day pass and I got a surprise. The best of it's kind. Lex was slowly making her way home.
To celebrate, we made a yummy meal--well, Debbie made a delicious chicken stew and I made a bowl of vegetables...:)
We also took a load off on the balcony off Alexis' room--the two of us sat there, talking and engaged in fun activity. We invited Debbie down. A couple minutes later we were all hungry and took a trip to the AM:PM downstairs.
The image of seeing Alexis in the AM:PM is something I will never forget. She was free. She could pick whatever she wanted and no one was stopping her. Our little mission down to the store brought back memories of the days, the honey moon period, before she had the transplant. The days were we would wander and stroll the streets, stop in at candy shops or sit for a delicious salad. I was feeling very positive--everyone was.
We went upstairs--threw everything we bought into bowls, including the likes of Carriot cereal (the chocolate filled puffs), cinamon toast crunch, peanuts and zatar crackers. We all tried to watch Ellen but none of us could hear past the crunching. It was so loud! And no one cared! We were just happy! The 3 of us sitting on the couch, eating, smiling and crunching!
the body is a temple and a wild vessel
(I wrote this about a week and a half ago--sorry for the tardy post)
I slept at the hospital last night.
When I woke up at around 830 in the morning, one of alexis' nurses
came rushing into the room with a smile on her face. She spoke as if
little happy face bubbles were flying out of her mouth.
Alexis'neutrafills, or as I like to call them, new-trees, had
multiplied to an excitement worthy amount. Except still not enough to
send her home.
To watch and wait and be part of this, alexis' battle, is both an
experience I'd rather she not have to go through, but is one that I am
honored to be going through with her. Like I said, she makes this
cancer stuff seem easy. And as uncomfortable as she might be, when the
doctor comes to ask of her complaints, she shrugs her shoulders,
gently shakes her head from side to side, smiles and says in her soft
tone, "I feel fine".
Man, the body is such a wild vessel. The way the physical plays with
your emotial and mental well being is pushed to all limits. And to
watch alexis go through all of this is in some ways fascinating. The
way her mental effects her physical is something worth mentioning.
She brings the idea of mind over matter to the plate and man is she a
heavy hitter. --and even when she's down, there's always a piece of
her that is fighting. Rampantly. Fighting stronger mentally, than her
body is fighting against her.
I slept at the hospital last night.
When I woke up at around 830 in the morning, one of alexis' nurses
came rushing into the room with a smile on her face. She spoke as if
little happy face bubbles were flying out of her mouth.
Alexis'neutrafills, or as I like to call them, new-trees, had
multiplied to an excitement worthy amount. Except still not enough to
send her home.
To watch and wait and be part of this, alexis' battle, is both an
experience I'd rather she not have to go through, but is one that I am
honored to be going through with her. Like I said, she makes this
cancer stuff seem easy. And as uncomfortable as she might be, when the
doctor comes to ask of her complaints, she shrugs her shoulders,
gently shakes her head from side to side, smiles and says in her soft
tone, "I feel fine".
Man, the body is such a wild vessel. The way the physical plays with
your emotial and mental well being is pushed to all limits. And to
watch alexis go through all of this is in some ways fascinating. The
way her mental effects her physical is something worth mentioning.
She brings the idea of mind over matter to the plate and man is she a
heavy hitter. --and even when she's down, there's always a piece of
her that is fighting. Rampantly. Fighting stronger mentally, than her
body is fighting against her.
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